Sids, Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, is a cruel and ruthless killer of babies. It leaves no clues, and no reasons...nothing, as to why our babies died, and what we can do to stop it from happening to the next baby. Parents are taking major precautions...precautions that are peculiar to this decade, in trying to prevent SIDS from stealing their babies...but it doesn't always work.
The loss of your baby is not comparable to any other loss you have ever experienced in your life. YOU are the caretaker, the provider of everything that little one needs.When your baby dies, all eyes, including your own, look back at yourself to see what you could have done wrong. The mystery of SIDS, by its very exclusion of all reasons for death, naturally makes a parent feel nothing but pure guilt. Even if that is completely unfounded...you will feel it. When the autopsy cannot answer any questions, you will obsessively start looking for way in which you could have played a part in your baby's demise. If you are reading this having recently gone through this tragedy, all I can say is...eventually you will come to the same conclusion that all other SIDS families have come to...you didn't do anything wrong, and you couldn't have stopped what was going to happen. You probably will continue to search for answers...I know I do all the time...but if the professionals haven't found conclusive evidence, it is unlikely that I will either. I HAVE found it is a healing process though which I need to go through sometimes. Sometimes it is too hard, but at other times I will spend hours on the internet, or at the bookstore looking for those little clues. I don't know if I will ever find them..but my research HAS helped me pat the guilt down to a manageable level. So...if you are grieving freshly at the moment...research when and if you can...you won't find the reason that your baby died, but you WILL find that you are joined by many many other families who also have no answers, only questions...and that in itself will give you some relief from the guilt.