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My Thoughts on being Single and Pregnant...

Home | My Angel Baby Daegan Ryder | My Thoughts on the Thief known as SIDS | June 26, 2001 | Having Another Baby After SIDS | Just For Today by Vickie Tushingham | My Thoughts on being Single and Pregnant... | An Angel's Brother...Finn | The Dogs in my Life... | Resources for Single, Pregnant Mothers... | Resources for those who have lost an Infant to SIDS | Contact Me

A SIDS story

When I became pregnant for the first time in 2000, the father of the baby left me at 3 months. I was told it was a *holiday* to see his mother in Toronto, but when I called, his mom told me he was not coming back. So, that was the first time I was dealing with being single and pregnant. Fortunately, the father decided to return to us when I was 6 months pregnant and give it his best try at being part of a family. Baby Daegan Ryder was born a few months later, June 26 of 2000. The father turned out to be wonderful. Very supporting, helpful and all around a good guy. Then we lost Daegan in August of the same year to SIDS. Things went from bad to worse during the following months. We decided together to try have another baby, and I became pregnant January of 2001. For some reason, as soon as I told the dad that we were expecting again, he told me he did not want this baby. I thought he would change his mind. He didn't. We separated when I was again 3 months pregnant, and this time it is over for good. So...it is my baby and me...baby now being 5 months in my tummy...and we are going to make a very good go at it! I have grown so much stronger since the tragedy of SIDS hit our lives, and I know that I will be fully capable of taking on anything that life now decides to throw my way.

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Because dwelling on the negative is a VERY easy thing to do while lonely and pregnant...I am determined to look ONLY at the positive side of being a single mom. Positive? Yup! The way I see it is...I get to choose the name of my baby, no Billy Bob Jr.'s in THIS family! I get to make the decisions regarding babe's schooling, attire etc. I don't need to vent with my friends about how *the father* is causing me headaches about such-n-such! I certainly won't ever need to say the old line..."Just wait until your father gets home!"...who thought that one up anyways??!!? But you know the best of all?? I am going to be the one who experiences my baby's FIRSTS! And although this COULD be looked upon as a sad thing...it's not sad for me, and it's not sad for baby...it's only sad for the person who decided we weren't good enough to stay for. So, although I know a good mate would be an absolutely WONDERFUL partner to have and share this baby's life with...all in all, when you don't have the choice of a good guy, then having NO guy is really not a bad option! So...I begin my journey of being a POSITIVE and HAPPY single mom-2-be! Plus, some day I might just get a beautiful bike like this!! And guess what? I won't have to answer to anyone about where I spent all that money!! Heh heh!